


Finding the Balance

by MissCoppelia



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Fixing everything I can from a certain point in the movie, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Fuck JJ Abrams, Fuck TRoS in General, Fuck the ending of TRoS, Jannah Calrissian implied, No Pregnancy, POST TROS SPOILERS, The Force Ships It, multiple POVs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21906130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCoppelia/pseuds/MissCoppelia
Summary: ~~ WARNING FOR LOTS OF THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS~~There was barely time to react before Ben's body began to fade. Rey reached into the Force instantly, searching for him in it. Just one last essence of him. She grabbed hold of it and, with all of her remaining strength and a cry of desperation, pulled it back into existence.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 36
Kudos: 129





	Finding the Balance

**Author's Note:**

> This is DEFINITELY going to spoil you for the ending of The Rise of Skywalker, so I wholeheartedly suggest you avoid this fic if you don't want spoilers.

_ That was close, _ Finn thought to himself as he and Jannah slid down the hatch of the Millennium Falcon and into the main corridor. 

_ We did it, _ was his second thought as he took a few steps to the cockpit and searched for Rey’s Force signature.  _ We really did it. _

It took him another step to realize he couldn’t feel her. He stopped, gripping the wall, knuckles whitening as the knowledge hit him. Jannah bumped into his shoulder just as Chewie exited the cockpit to check on them. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, turning to look at Finn, followed by Chewie’s same question a moment later. 

“ _Rey,_ ” was all he could say as his shook with fear.

* * *

The fall didn’t kill Ben, and for that he was grateful. It had gone quiet, but he could tell all was not right in the Force as he pulled himself up the rock by sheer force of will. His body screamed in protest, but he had to get to Rey, to make sure that Palpatine wouldn’t harm her any more. To deal with the Sith, if she had in fact become one. For all her fear, he knew now she would resist it, but he also knew the Dark Side and how strong it could be. 

His throat went dry as he saw her crumpled on the floor before him, the sabers on either side of her. There was nothing there, no throne, no Palpatine, no arena, just rubble and destruction. His legs struggled to move, but he had to make it to her side. He had to make it right.

There was no way to prepare himself for the feel of Rey’s lifeless body in his arms. She was just there, her beautiful eyes, her high cheeks, the wisps of her hair - all the same, but all wrong. Where was the bright spark of her? Why hadn’t he been strong enough to protect her?

A wash of hatred for himself, for Palpatine, for the galaxy, the Force, overtook him and Ben had to look away from Rey’s body to keep from being overwhelmed by it. He held her closer, begging her to come back, to keep him from falling back into darkness and despair. Nothing except her.

There was a spark of something still whispering around him, the very last of her in the Force. So thin he barely noticed it in his grief. Maybe there was still a way. Because if anyone should live, it should be her. She had brought him back from the brink on Kef Bir. He would do the same.

Ben breathed out and found his center. It came surprisingly easy now that he had found his way back to the Light. He was sure where he stood now, not constantly fighting his old self, the voices, everything. He had seen, felt, how she had healed him, and like always, what one of them had learned passed quickly to the other. Still, his breathing remained shaky.

He didn’t want to give himself the hope that it would work. The Force didn’t take kindly to anyone trying to break its natural cycles, and she was much farther away than he had been on the ruins of the Death Star. He had to work within the bounds of it, convincing the Force to work with him. This would  _ not _ be easy.

Pressing a hand to her side, Ben narrowed his concentration to just the two of them. The Force moved from within him, swirled around them both, found that tiny little spark drifting in the ether, and brought it back to Rey. The cycle repeated for a few heartbeats with no result. Ben felt his hope slip away.    
  
Then her hand covered his.

There was nothing to do but watch in amazement as her eyes -bright again- found his. His heart soared as she righted herself. Ben found himself on the brink of tears as her life force flooded into his consciousness and all felt right with the world again. 

His breath escaped him as her hand found his cheek. The scar she gave him was gone. Chased away when she healed him, somehow. Ben didn’t have the words to describe the elation he felt. He could barely stop himself from bursting with excitement, despite his wounds, despite how weak he felt.

Rey moved in closer and then her lips crashed into his. Never had Ben felt something so good, so perfect, so wonderful as the happiness that surged through their skin then. He couldn’t stop smiling. He wouldn’t stop smiling now. Not when Rey was there beside him, murmuring his name with so much love.

* * *

Rey had felt herself drifting away. It seemed natural at the time. Ben was gone, or at least she couldn’t find his Force Signature. Palpatine was gone, which was a relief, and she was so exhausted. There was nothing left in her, so she gave herself over to the Force. It welcomed her back into its arms.

And then there had been Ben again. Was she dreaming? Was death getting to feel him warm beneath her fingers again? It took a moment for her to realize that no, she was  _ alive  _ and so was Ben.  _ Finally _ Ben, and not Kylo Ren.

There were so many things she wanted to do. Cry, touch him more, feel herself buried tight in his arms, wail with happiness and relief, run her hands through his hair, but to kiss him seemed like the best option for now. She could do all those other things after their lips parted.   
  
For now, she poured all of her emotions into the places where their skin met. She could feel where his lips had grown chapped, the cut on the side of his mouth. There was a slight smell of blood on his breath, but none of that mattered.

Finally she felt whole enough to pull back - for now. There would be future kisses, she was sure. He smiled, and Rey felt her heart leap from her chest with sheer joy. Maker, she had never expected that smile, but it was so beautiful. More beautiful than the green forests of Ajan Kloss and every other thing she had come to know as good since she had left Jakku. 

Ben jerked in her arms as she was lost in wonder. She watched him grow pale, breath leaving him as hers left her lungs in horror. She followed his body as it hit the ground, clutching it in disbelief.

_ No, no, no, no, no!  _

There was barely time to react before his body began to fade. Rey reached into the Force instantly, searching for him in it. Just one last essence of him. She grabbed hold of it and, with all of her remaining strength and a cry of desperation, pulled it back into existence. 

He flickered back into a solid state in front of her, his eyes flashing between brightness and lifelessness. It wasn’t quite right. Her hands were deep within his chest. They shouldn’t have been. Rey looked down and realized that she was the one beginning to fade now.   
  
“Rey!” Ben roared as he reached for her as well, still oscillating between alive and not. “Let go! Save yourself!”

Her tears ran down a solid cheek, then dropped through her to Ben’s arm where it was inside of her. 

“No! Not without you! Not after you finally came to me!” Her voice was hoarse from trying to push through the Force, from trying to exist when her body wasn’t fully there. 

“Rey,” his voice broke, tears that weren’t wet beginning to spill down his face. “There’s not enough between us for both of us to survive.” 

She choked back a sob, daring reality not to be  _ this. _

“I’m sorry, Rey.”

His forehead pressed against hers as the Force buffeted itself around them, spinning in a wild circle between their hearts, trying desperately to keep one alive while the other rejected their energy and sent it back, the cycle repeating and repeating. It hurt. It felt like dying every single time and Rey felt her body start to fray like a paper doll.   
  
“No! I’ll find a way, I’ll-” she cried.

“There isn’t one,” Ben said softly. “You’ll die first. You should be the one to live. You’re the strongest one.”

“I can’t-”   
  
“You can, I know you can,” he promised. “You’ll be just fine without me. You always were.” 

With a deep breath, Rey tried to accept that reality. One without Ben. It hurt every pore in her body to think of it. 

“REY!”

* * *

All Finn could see was the ball of light surrounding them as his feet hit the ground. The jump from the Falcon should had been too high, but he had seen how Rey had used the Force to aid her movements. Instinctively, he copied that. Used the Force to hold and move himself, instead of another object. So when he righted himself, Finn was able to run to her. 

“REY!”

There was something strange about the two figures before him. A constant state of change. The Force did not know who to settle on. Both their bodies were attempting to push life on the other, failing, trying again. As Finn slowed his steps and dropped down onto his knees by Rey’s side, he could finally see it was not a battle for dominance. They were trying to save each other.

She turned to him then, tears spilling in all the wrong places as her body tried to hold itself together. “Help me! Ben’s dying!”

Finn’s heart hurt as he took in his best friend dissipating before him, then looked to the other man, another realization dawning in his mind. This was not Kylo Ren. Not the same man he had seen attacking Rey on the ruins of the Death Star. 

No, Ben was someone else entirely. Someone he didn’t truly know, but maybe someone he could find himself knowing. 

“Save her,  _ please, _ ” he begged Finn, the emotion in his eyes finding its way straight into Finn’s heart. “If you pull her away-”

Finn reached out to Rey, taking her forearm in his hand. It was hot with life, then completely cold, then a second later, hot again.   
  
“Finn, no, I’ll be fine! Help Ben!”

His mind flashed to the Vexis Snake on Pasaana. How Rey had put her hand on the creature and Finn had felt her power move from her to it. How its flesh regrew before their eyes. Rey had whispered something to BB-8 about giving him some of her life force to it. So Finn closed his eyes and willed some of his life force to flow into her. 

“Finn?”

Rey grew solid under his grip, but it wasn’t time to let go over her yet, though she began to struggle and tried to twist away. 

“Stay still, both of you!” Finn growled, reaching out to Ben and gripping his arm. 

It only took another moment to feel them both become right again beneath his palms. He let go slowly, making sure that they felt  _ there _ with his fingertips. Two faces stared back at him in shock, wet and bright, their palms rested on solid chests, not somewhere inside their bodies.   
  
Sitting back on his feet, Finn sighed. “You didn’t mention how exhausting that was.”

“What?” Rey breathed. “What did you just do?”

He gave her a knowing look. “The same thing you did on Pasaana.”

“I thought- I thought I was imagining things on Jakku,” Ben said. His voice without a modulator was softer than Finn expected. “But that  _ was _ you.”

Rey’s head turned to Ben, a confused frown on her brow. “What do you mean?”

Ben nodded his head towards Finn, “Don’t tell me you can’t feel him in the Force.”

Her head whipped back towards him, her mouth open in a silent question. 

Finn huffed out a laugh. “I wanted to tell you before. I just couldn’t find the right moment.”

Rey covered her mouth and sobbed, then, still on her knees, leaned forward to wrap Finn in a tight embrace. She tried to say something, but her tears ate the words and turned them into his name instead. As Finn wrapped his arms around her, his eyes met Ben’s. He still looked to be on the verge of tears too. 

“Thank you for saving her,” he said with a watery smile.

“Any time,” Finn answered back. 

* * *

“Well, Chewie, would you look at that.”

Beside Lando, the Wookiee let out a groan of approval that brought a smile to his face. In all his days, he would have never thought to see Ben Solo again. Not alive anyway. He wondered if Leia knew. If she was watching down on them from the heavens right now. Her son and Rey.

“What’s going on down there?” A rich voice asked behind him. Ah, yes, the girl that Finn had brought onboard. The leader of the group of former storm troopers from Kef Bir.

“Love,” Lando said as turned to look at her. “Hope. A lot of things.”

Something about her face brought back memories. Of the woman he loved, of their daughter - missing all these years. “What’s your story, kid? Where are you from?”

Jannah’s dark eyes crinkled with the memories of old pains. “Don’t know, sir. I was stolen as a child.”

“My daughter was stolen from me,” he said. “I think she’d be around your age now.”

Her eyes grew wide at that, and a cautious smile followed.   
  
Lando smiled back. A lot of things were happening indeed.

* * *

Rey and Finn both helped Ben get back up on his feet. Despite Finn’s best efforts, he couldn’t heal all the wounds he’d sustained from the fall. Thankfully Rey had been far less injured. Once he was upright, she put his arm around her shoulder for him to lean on, smiling up at him with so much love in her eyes that he wanted to pinch himself. He leaned in to press a kiss to her temple and Rey gave him a contented sigh in return. 

As the three of them made their way to the Falcon, Ben noticed three figures walk down the ramp. One he knew immediately -there was no way to mistake Wookiee feet for anything else- another he was sure he did not recognize, and the third…

“Uncle Lando?” he breathed.

“Ben!” The old man barked. Lando was much older than Ben remembered. Gray around his head, with a good amount of paunch around his middle. But there was no mistaking his voice, his smile, his laugh. 

The man wrapped Ben in his arms like no time had passed at all. “I’m glad to see you again, kid.” 

Ben leaned into the embrace, memories and emotions flooding him all at once, when Chewie whimpered a few soft words to him. His breath became tight in his chest as he faced his father’s long-time friend and partner. 

“Uncle Chewie, I don’t know how you can ever forgive me.” 

Chewie tossed his head back and growled his grief for both of Ben’s parents before pulling him forcefully into another hug. With that, Ben let go of all his tears and buried his face in the Wookiee’s fur.

“Careful, Chewie!” Rey cried beside him, a hand on his back. “He’s injured.”

“Don’t worry, Rey,” Lando said with a laugh. “We’ll get him fixed up in no time.” 

* * *

Rey watched Ben look around the Falcon in awe as she applied a bacta patch to his shoulder. It was hard to believe he was here, next to her,  _ with _ her.   
  
“How many years has it been?” she asked softly, her hand coming to rest on his arm.

“Too many,” he answered, running a hand over the Dejarik board next to him. 

“But now you’re back.”

Ben smiled and turned to her. Was his smile going to take her breath away every time?    
  
“Yeah. I am.”

His hand moved to take hers again, entwining their fingers together and squeezing her palm. Rey pressed her forehead to his, aware of the audience on just the other side of the room. Finn and Jannah, who kept giving them worried glances as they spoke in hushed voices.

“Are you okay?” 

Rey knew he was asking about Palpatine, everything that had happened when she refused her birthright.   
  
“I will be,” she said with a smile. “Now that you’re here.”

They landed a few hours later among the jungle of Ajan Kloss. Finn bounded out of the Millennium Falcon, eager to look for Rose and Poe. Jannah, Lando, and Chewie weren’t far behind, but when Rey started down the ramp, she noticed Ben lingering at the top.

“Ben?”

Crowds were forming, cheering at the Resistance’s victory. Behind her, her friends were racing to embrace each other, but Ben had begun to turn away from it, discomfort on his face. 

“Ben…” she repeated as climbed back up. “What’s wrong?”

He gave her a pitiful look, one of doubt and uncertainty and hurt. “I don’t belong there. This isn’t my victory.”

She turned back to the outside, just in time to see Finn plant a kiss on a smiling Rose, her arms wrapping around his neck.   
  
“Maybe not,” she said softly as her mind worked.

Her hand reached out to him. “But you belong with  _ me. _ ”

At that his lips parted, his eyes moving to her outstretched hand, then back to her face.    
  
Without another word, he took her hand and followed her down the ramp. At first there were cheers as they saw her face, followed by silence as they noticed Ben’s. She felt him slow, a slight pull against her hand. But when she stopped at the edge of the Falcon’s underside, he was there by her side, everyone’s eyes on them.

“This is Ben Solo,” she started. “General Organa’s son.”

A few eyebrows raised in curiosity, and a murmur started towards the back. Rey saw Lando and Chewie give her a worried look. Maz stood beside them, looking Ben over carefully.

“He helped me defeat Palpatine,” she continued, eager to explain everything so that they’d understand and accept Ben. “He saved me when I was nearly dead. And he wants to be here,  _ with me. _ ”

The murmurs grew louder and Rey felt Ben tense beside her. His eyes were pointed at the ground and his jaw shifted. Someone said the words ‘Supreme Leader’ and “the First Order’ a little too loudly. Her heart thudded loudly as she wondered what to do next, how to make the Resistance understand what had happened, how Ben had changed.   


“BEN SOLO.”

All eyes landed on Maz as she stepped forward. “Come. Let us talk. Rey. General Finn. General Tico. I want you join us too.” 

* * *

Rey stood at the edge of the little crop of buildings of what once was a moisture farm, looking down into the courtyard with Rose. The wind whipped her hair around her crown and Ben thought she looked beautiful like that, with the gauze of her clothes fluttering against her skin. 

“There’s nothing down here of any interest, everything’s filled up with sand or burnt to a crisp,” Finn called out to them from below.

“Too bad,” Rey said. 

“I promise you there was probably nothing there worth seeing,” Ben said. “Uncle Luke said it was burnt down ages ago.”

Rey shot him an amused look. “Let the past die, huh?”

He rolled his eyes at his wife as she took his hand. “Look, I said that in ignorance, not knowing my family would appear every time they thought we needed advice or guidance from the beyond.”

Finn huffed a laugh as Rose pulled him up over the ledge. “Your family is a bunch of busy-bodies.”

“It’s nice to see them, though,” Rose commented. “To know that they’re there with you in the Force, watching over you.”

Ben nodded, thinking of the first time he had seen his mother and father’s ghosts appear before them and the tears he’d cried then. “It is.” 

Rey was already on the ground, placing his mother and uncle’s sabers side by side on a red cloth. Ben looked to her new saber on her hip, the black handle partially wrapped in fabric, before he noticed her outstretched hand and slightly impatient look.

“Right,” he said as he fumbled in his pocket for the dice they’d gone back to Ahch-To to find.    
  
They slipped easily from his fingers to hers, and she laid them out between the two sabers before carefully folding the cloth up and tying it with a leather cord.    
  
He joined her on the ground, putting his hand over hers as they moved the sand around the little bundle, burying it deep. When it was fully covered, Rey looked up at him, her eyes just barely containing the tears and their fingers moved to become entwined in each others’ at the exact same time. His eyes begin to grow wet too.

Finn and Rose’s arms are there for them when they rise from the ground. All of them have felt so much loss from this war, and so the closeness between them had only grown the more time they spent together. Ben would have never expected to grow close to anyone but Rey, and yet now he could not help but to search for understanding with everyone he met. 

When his eyes open, there are three bluish figures on the horizon. Familiar ones. Rey squeezed his hand and he knew that she saw them too. His mother and father smiling with pride, hand in hand too. His uncle stood solemnly beside them, and as their eyes met, he nodded to both of them in approval. 

Rey let out a little breath of relief as Finn and Rose released them from the embrace. “Shall we head back then? There’s still a lot of work to be done.”

“Yeah, I’m ready to get off this planet,” Finn responded. “I’m glad we’re not building the school here. I hate desert planets.” 

Rose laughed. “You hate anywhere with no freshers in sight.” 

The pair teased each other all the way back to their ship, the twin suns beginning to set in the distance. But Ben and Rey trailed behind like they always did - happily lost in each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Reylos, I want all your salt in the comments. Don't hold back now.
> 
> I only rewrote the very end because otherwise it would have to be the whole damn movie. And as much as I hated Rey Palpatine, that was one of the least terribly done points of the movie.


End file.
